blessed, blessed relief
What I thought was downright impossible actually did happen.
Hub came home today.
It was just after 1:00. I'd been going back and forth on yahoo, talking to mom and J, when I suddenly heard keys in the door. I just froze. My heart started pounding and I suddenly couldn't breathe. I thought to myself, "no way. It can't be Hub. It's got to be his sister. It's probably her lunch break." I started walking toward the door when there was a knock (I had put in the deadbolts and chains). With my blood pounding in my ears, I slid back the bolts, undid the chains, and opened the door. And there he stood: my husband, the love of my life. At first I just stood there and tried to take it in. He was home! Then, without even thinking, I just threw my arms around him and started to cry. Not just cry, but horrible, huge, gut-wrenching sobs. I'd been crying all morning as it was, but this was different. All the horrible things going through my head finally let out, all at once. I remember recognizing the fact that he looked terrible, and that he said "I'm okay."
The one thing that kind of hurt, though, was that he pushed me away from him. I thought I'd never feel his arms around me again, and he pushes me away.
So we came into the living room, me sobbing, he groaning. I sat down on the couch and simply let the sobs take me. I'd been crying for 2 days straight, but I'd tried to control it somewhat. The children were around and I didn't want them to see me completely break down. But all 3 of the older kids were in school and #3 child's nursery had offered to keep #4 child for the day because of all of this, so it was just he and I in the house.
I knew I had to make some phone calls, because there were a lot of people concerned in all this. First and foremost, of course, was the police. I called them and then Hub took the phone and explained everything himself. Then I called social services, since they had taken me home and arranged for #4 child to stay at the nursery today. Then I had to call Hub's best friend, because he and I had been back and forth on the phone for the past 2 days. Then it occurred to me that #2 child would like to know that her daddy was safe and sound, especially considering the fact that she's the only one that really understood what was going on. So I called her school and had them give her a message.
Over several conversations - because Hub is unable to tell a complete story all the way through and always has been - I think I've finally gotten the whole idea of what happened to him.
Somewhere around 2:00 a.m. Sunday morning, Hub left the club. He had switched from beer to Coke because he thought he'd had enough to drink. Anyway, he left the club and waited with some woman he used to know from college, until her taxi came. Then he started walking down the road to a taxi stand so that he could come home. On the way to the taxi stand, he started feeling dizzy. That's the last thing he clearly remembers until this morning.
He woke up in the hospital. The doctors told him that he'd been found on the beach and brought there. They also said that they'd done urine tests and they thought someone had spiked his drink with a cocktail of GHB and Rohypnol. Apparently when he first arrived at the hospital, he didn't even know who he was, let alone where he was. As the drugs wore off, his memory started to come back. The reason I was told "no" when I called the hospital and asked if he was there was that they didn't know who he was. He had left his wallet here, which I didn't know. He had put it way up on top of some boxes and I couldn't have seen it from my height. If he had taken his wallet, he would have had some identification on him, and I'm sure the hospital would have been able to find some way to contact me.
I'm still not quite alright. The after-effects of this whole situation are still with me. I find that I have to keep stopping myself from going in the bedroom and checking to make sure that he's still there. And shortly after he came home, he had to leave. He still had to go to the university for his induction day. It was very important that he go, and I understood that, but a part of me wanted to scream "no!" and not let him out of my sight, ever again.
I'm exhausted and wish I could just fall asleep right now, but I need to talk to him about this. He needs to know what *I* was going through. *I* need him to know what I was going through.
Hub came home today.
It was just after 1:00. I'd been going back and forth on yahoo, talking to mom and J, when I suddenly heard keys in the door. I just froze. My heart started pounding and I suddenly couldn't breathe. I thought to myself, "no way. It can't be Hub. It's got to be his sister. It's probably her lunch break." I started walking toward the door when there was a knock (I had put in the deadbolts and chains). With my blood pounding in my ears, I slid back the bolts, undid the chains, and opened the door. And there he stood: my husband, the love of my life. At first I just stood there and tried to take it in. He was home! Then, without even thinking, I just threw my arms around him and started to cry. Not just cry, but horrible, huge, gut-wrenching sobs. I'd been crying all morning as it was, but this was different. All the horrible things going through my head finally let out, all at once. I remember recognizing the fact that he looked terrible, and that he said "I'm okay."
The one thing that kind of hurt, though, was that he pushed me away from him. I thought I'd never feel his arms around me again, and he pushes me away.
So we came into the living room, me sobbing, he groaning. I sat down on the couch and simply let the sobs take me. I'd been crying for 2 days straight, but I'd tried to control it somewhat. The children were around and I didn't want them to see me completely break down. But all 3 of the older kids were in school and #3 child's nursery had offered to keep #4 child for the day because of all of this, so it was just he and I in the house.
I knew I had to make some phone calls, because there were a lot of people concerned in all this. First and foremost, of course, was the police. I called them and then Hub took the phone and explained everything himself. Then I called social services, since they had taken me home and arranged for #4 child to stay at the nursery today. Then I had to call Hub's best friend, because he and I had been back and forth on the phone for the past 2 days. Then it occurred to me that #2 child would like to know that her daddy was safe and sound, especially considering the fact that she's the only one that really understood what was going on. So I called her school and had them give her a message.
Over several conversations - because Hub is unable to tell a complete story all the way through and always has been - I think I've finally gotten the whole idea of what happened to him.
Somewhere around 2:00 a.m. Sunday morning, Hub left the club. He had switched from beer to Coke because he thought he'd had enough to drink. Anyway, he left the club and waited with some woman he used to know from college, until her taxi came. Then he started walking down the road to a taxi stand so that he could come home. On the way to the taxi stand, he started feeling dizzy. That's the last thing he clearly remembers until this morning.
He woke up in the hospital. The doctors told him that he'd been found on the beach and brought there. They also said that they'd done urine tests and they thought someone had spiked his drink with a cocktail of GHB and Rohypnol. Apparently when he first arrived at the hospital, he didn't even know who he was, let alone where he was. As the drugs wore off, his memory started to come back. The reason I was told "no" when I called the hospital and asked if he was there was that they didn't know who he was. He had left his wallet here, which I didn't know. He had put it way up on top of some boxes and I couldn't have seen it from my height. If he had taken his wallet, he would have had some identification on him, and I'm sure the hospital would have been able to find some way to contact me.
I'm still not quite alright. The after-effects of this whole situation are still with me. I find that I have to keep stopping myself from going in the bedroom and checking to make sure that he's still there. And shortly after he came home, he had to leave. He still had to go to the university for his induction day. It was very important that he go, and I understood that, but a part of me wanted to scream "no!" and not let him out of my sight, ever again.
I'm exhausted and wish I could just fall asleep right now, but I need to talk to him about this. He needs to know what *I* was going through. *I* need him to know what I was going through.
posted by nukkingphutz at 9:33 pm
1 Comments:
Do you still maintain this blog? Are you contactable outside of the blog?
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