will i panic forever?

I can't seem to help myself.

I last saw Hub this morning as I was walking out the door to take the children to school. Hub had to go into town to take care of some more college stuff. It's important, and I understand that. But I told him last night that I'm going to be worried every time he walks out that door that he's not going to come back. So this morning he promised me that he'd call me while he was out. He hasn't! And he's almost an hour later than he said he'd be, and I can't stop myself from panicking.

It started when I put Chloe down for her nap, because by then it had been nearly 6 hours. Surely he would have found time by then to at least find a pay phone and tell me he's okay. I laid down for a while, because I'm still not feeling myself after this weekend, and when I woke up and realized he still hadn't called, I got even more worried. By the time we got back from school and he still wasn't home, I started having a full-blown panic attack.

That was over an hour ago, and right now I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm hiding in my bedroom so the kids don't see me, but what I really want to do is scream my head off. Tear my hair out. Beat my head into the wall.

After the talk we had last night, I just can't believe he's doing this to me. I can't stop sobbing. And shaking.