We got a new couch!!!!

The couch in all its loveliness...




And a close-up of the detail.

I can't even tell you how excited I am to have this thing! It's my first new couch - EVER. I'm talking this thing is brand new from a department store. Nobody but us has ever owned this! (Hey... I've never HAD brand-new furniture in my LIFE!!)

This is the one thing I've REALLY wanted for MONTHS. But every time we had a little extra cash, we just couldn't find one we were willing to spend the dosh on.

Well, now our financial situation is sorted (finally!!! It's only TAKEN 3 YEARS!!!), so we had a LOT of extra cash. So we were looking around at the sales. We were going to get this one from Walmsley's, but when Hubby went over there, we found out they were out of stock - and it would take another 4 weeks to get one in.

So just for the heck of it, Hubby went looking around at a few of the other furniture stores and department stores in town. To be honest, he wasn't all that hopeful, but he figured (and I totally agreed with him) that he'd better make sure there wasn't a better deal out there before he went and ordered something that wasn't QUITE what we wanted (we wanted something in a darker color, because of the kids).

Well, we lucked out - BIG TIME!! He went to Jopling's (a big department store out here). Again, he wasn't all that hopeful, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to look. There, waaaaay in the back of the furniture section, he saw the one we ended up getting. So he goes to the person in charge of the furniture section, and finds out that not only were they having a huge store-wide sale, but since this floor model was the last one in that particular line - period - we got even MORE off of it. I'm not entirely sure how much it originally cost - well over the £700 mark - but we ended up getting it for £219, INCLUDING delivery costs!!!

I'm a happy camper, I'll tell ya! Or should I say, "happy sitter?" :P

LOL-Tears in Your Eyes FUNNY!!

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and findthe old man staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in
your life?"

The old man without batting an eye said , "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.

I was just wondering if you were my son."

Adventures in Waxing

Somebody posted this at a messageboard site that I frequent, and I loved it SO much I just HAD to put it on here for all to see.

Warning: do not eat or drink anything while reading this. You WILL choke yourself!!!

Adventures in Waxing

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, But I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the Strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color.....Now that's funny . Notttttttttt.

My children have issues!

On the way to school this morning, Chloe found a new toy. She actually found it on the ground outside the paper shop. It could have been any number of kids' - most kids at their school end up walking past this shop - so I let her keep it. (If there had been any way to find out whose it was, I would have at least TRIED to find out, but out on the street on the most popular route to school? No way.)

I wouldn't let her keep it at school, though. I told her I would take it home and put it on her chair. Which is exactly what I did.

So as soon as we got home, she went straight for her chair and started to play with it. It gets on my nerves (makes all kinds of strange music), but when she started doing this, I just had to get the camera out - AFTER I laughed my ass off, of course.

Click here - because I tried to put the html in here, but for some reason it won't work.

I think the kid's got some SERIOUS problems! *lol*