Dispelling the Myth

There is a myth - mostly propogated by Americans who don't know the truth - that England is a dark, gloomy place, where the sun rarely shines, and even when it does it's still cold and just plain old blech.

It's not true, folks.

Sure, England gets a lot of rain. That part is definitely true, but it's not a constant thing. I noticed the first year we lived here that it rained practically every day... but not ALL day. It would rain for like an hour or so and then be sunny and warm the rest of the day.

And I gotta tell you people... when the sun DOES shine here, it is friggin HOT!!!!

I took my youngest to the beach yesterday (first time on my own, aren't you proud of me?) alone with her entire nursery. She was playing in a little tide pool nearby, so I pretty much sat on a towel with one of the other moms (who also happens to be the mom of one of Lexi's friends, too) for the whole day. Her son, Robert, wasn't too interested in going anywhere. He didn't want to play the games, he didn't want to go in the water with Chloe, he was mostly interested in building sandcastles. And since I, in my poor deprived childhood, never got to build sandcastles, I helped him.

And now I have a sunburn so bad on my legs that it hurts to move.

At all.

The funny thing is, this is only the second time in my LIFE that I've gotten a burn on my legs. And the first time, by the end of the night, it had already faded to a tan. I didn't think I COULD get a burn this bad on my legs. On my upper body, yeah. But not down there.

Guess I was wrong.

Come to find out, after talking with hubby, that not only are the sun's rays stronger here than they were back home, but there's something about the sea air that actually intensifies the intensity (try saying THAT 3 times fast when you're drunk!!) of the sun.

And yes, Chloe has a sunburn... but not NEARLY as bad as mine (she's more pink than red), and I find it not only ironic but TOTALLY UNFAIR. She was the one IN THE WATER... I just sat on the beach and relived my childhood (or... well... lived the part I missed, anyway).

It took me over an hour to walk the kids to school and get home again, because my legs hurt THAT bad. I'm going to have to leave early to pick Chloe up from nursery, because if I don't, I just KNOW I'm going to be late.

It's just a myth, guys. England is not just as bad as America when it comes to sun... it's WORSE!!!

But you know what? I'm glad I went. I might be in pain right now, but Chloe had SUCH a good time, and she was REALLY well behaved (which is the main thing I worried about). The kids keep asking me if I'll take the lot of them, and I think I shall. But not until I know I have money to spend on them. Even if we packed a lunch, they'd want things like pop and ice cream and the like... and I hate having to say no. So I'd much rather wait until I don't HAVE to say no!!!!

We NEED to bring back Physical Education!!!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially since my kids are now in the UK educational system.

Growing up in Illinois, having P.E. every day was a normal thing. Every school in every town in the entire state had P.E. every day.

Then we move here, and my kids have P.E. only ONCE a WEEK!!!

And since moving here, I've come to find out that Illinois is one of only a few states that STILL have P.E. every day.

Why?

Have we become so "politically correct" that we've gone way over to the other side in order to not make the unathletic kids feel left out?

I really started thinking about that today - my youngest had "sports day" at nursery today - and I realized something.

*I* was one of those unathletic types. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly lazy. But there were certain aspects of P.E. that I just wasn't very good at. But there were others that I WAS good at. I was good at volleyball - my classmates even asked me to join the intramural class team I was so good. I was pretty good at basketball, too. I tried out for the team, but the coach (and P.E. teacher) couldn't be bothered to even look at me to see if I was any good or not. In soccer, I was pretty good. I could kick the ball halfway across the playing field right to the person I wanted it to go to.

But I wasn't very good at things like aerobics and running and calisthenics. But instead of focusing on what I COULD do - like you'd think any teacher worth her teaching certificate would do - I was constantly told what a failure I was and how I just "wasn't bothering to try."

What we need - and I'm not just talking in the UK OR the US, I'm talking world-wide - are teachers who actually know how to TEACH. Who will praise our children for what they CAN do, and give them the confidence to at least try to improve on the areas they're not so good at.

I can tell you from experience that having a teacher who will focus on what you can do WELL does WONDERS for your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Why is it that we'd rather take the easy way out and just avoid the subject altogether? Why is it SO hard for us to stand up and say "our children need ___________ and __________ and the only way they're going to get it is with GOOD teachers who ACTUALLY teach"?

Our children are getting fatter and lazier by the decade, and we keep placing the blame on fast foods and lazy parenting and pretty much everything OTHER than the decline of our society as a whole.

It's not just one thing or the other, it's a culmination of a lot of things. And the only way we're going to make a difference is if we stop cow-towing to what "they" tell us we should be doing and stand up for ourselves and our children. If we don't stand up for ourselves, who will?

And how will our children learn how to stand up for THEMSELVES if they see us letting ourselves get walked on at every turn, just because "they" say it should be so.

"They" need to take a long frigging walk off a short freaking pier and stop destroying our society.

Pet Peeve #1: Neigborhood gossips

I've decided I'm going to do a running series with my pet peeves. I was thinking about a friend of mine who used to have a family MSN group, and one of the pages was her "soap box." Before she decided to delete the group, she had some funny essays about some of the things that really got her goat, specifically in the area she's living in.

Today's topic: neighborhood gossips.

And no, I don't mean the kind that sit there and tell you "guess what so-and-so told me yesterday?" That's bad enough, but at least they're relaying first-hand information.

I'm talking about the kind that simply want to start trouble and start spreading COMPLETELY FALSE rumors about other people.

We have one of those on our block. I swear, this woman has only 3 items of clothing. Every single day, she wears the same denim skirt. She's lived in the area for over a year, and only ONCE have I seen her wear a pair of pants (trousers). I nearly fell over in a faint when I saw her. Something tells me that the way she dressed should have told me something about the kind of woman she is.

But back when she first moved in, everything was fine. She and her husband (? - I'm not sure if they're even married, not a lot of people here in the UK even bother getting married anymore) would come down to our end of the street and sit and just talk with myself and my next-door neighbor and her family (her kids are all older teens).

And when another family moved in across the street from me, it was all of us out there until way past dark, just talking and basically having a good time doing nothing together (not to mention our kids would all play together).

But as time went on, this woman (who will remain nameless) started acting really weird. First she wouldn't talk to the woman across the street because she wanted my next door neighbor to come and visit HER instead. Eventually it came out that this woman wanted my next door neighbor to be her friend... ONLY. She wasn't allowed to have any other friends, other than herself.

Then she started telling people that my next-door neighbor sat outside drinking from 9 a.m. to 1 a.m. every day. Which is a crock of total bull$#!t. SOMETIMES we drink outside, but it's ALL of us, not just my next-door neighbor. And for another thing, this woman has 4 children and 2 grandchildren - not to mention her own boyfriend - to deal with (and various boyfriends/girlfriends/friends of her kids'). She doesn't have the TIME to be sitting outside doing nothing but drink all freaking day long.

And then there's the plain ole LOGIC of the whole thing... if my next-door neighbor really WAS sitting out there drinking 16 hours a day... would anybody in their right mind actually BELIEVE that she'd be able to function after only 8 hours of sleep??? Come ON! My father was an alcoholic, and I have to admit to going through a major drinking phase of my own when I was younger (and newly legal - I think a lot of young people go through a phase like that), and I know DAMNED well that 8 hours of sleep after a big drinking binge is just NOT enough.

And it hasn't stopped. She keeps spreading malicious lies about the very people she claimed she wanted as friends. Mostly my next-door neighbor, but she's done it to me as well.

The latest round of lies was about both of us. She claimed (to HER next-door neighbor, whose kids my youngest 2 are friends with) that all 4 of my kids (and my oldest is autistic, remember), and my neighbor's 18-month old grandson were all out playing in the street at 5 AM!!!!

Puh-LEEZE.

For one thing, since I started letting the kids play outside, they're not even up at that hour (anymore). For another, there's no way in hell I - or her SISTERS, for that matter - would allow Syrina (my oldest) outside without ADULT supervision. She would run off and get lost. She HAS run off before (when some idiot came into my house and left the front door open), and it was only by the Grace of God that one of my other neighbors happened to be coming home at the same time and caught her.

Thankfully - and quite funnily, I thought - the people she was telling this bull$#!t to knew better than to listen to her lies and told her point-blank that there was no way I'd let my kids out at that hour. My kids come in the house before their kids. They let their kids play out until WAY later than I ever would (just last week we came home from my neighbor's son's 18th birthday party at something like 11:30 p.m. and they were still out there). Hell, they've let their youngest - who just turned 3 two weeks ago - play outside BY HERSELF from the time she could walk. (Of course, they have 4 other kids to watch over her as well, but that's just something I would NEVER do.)

The worst part about this woman who spreads all the lies is that she's soooo sickly sweet to your face. She always smiles at me when she talks to me and is just soooo nice. But then I find out (from reliable sources, mind you) that she's spreading lies about me. And I haven't done anything to her. I have my own opinion of her, and granted, it's not very high. But it's MY opinion, so I keep it to MYSELF.

One of these days, this woman is going to get popped right in the mouth. And I'd be willing to bet money that she's not going to have a single clue as to why she's being treated that way.

But you know what? I'd secretly pay money to get to see it myself. Hell, if I weren't the type to want to keep the peace just for peace's sake, I'd love to BE the on to punch her right in her face.

It'd be sooooooooo satisfying!

Sometimes it's the little things that make the biggest difference.

Just over a week ago, I was whining and complaining about my two youngest children and their behavior. I've found a simple solution that has saved us all a lot of heartache.

I LET THEM PLAY OUTSIDE!

Okay, yeah, it might sound like a daft thing to a lot of people. But for us, it was a big deal. For one thing, we were afraid to let those two play outside without one of us out there supervising every single second. Caitlin was allowed to play outside from the age of 2, but we were living with my grandmother at the time, and we knew all the neighbors - and they knew us. If Caitlin went somewhere she wasn't supposed to, or did something she wasn't supposed to, we knew about it. Either one of the neighbors called us to let us know something was going on, or they just brought her back, and told us.

Here, we hardly know anybody. And we just weren't sure how safe it would be out there. Not to mention the fact that we didn't know if those two would listen to us, and stay in OUR street without wandering off.

For the last... lemme think... 6 days (?)... we've let them play outside. Alone, even. And we've let them stay outside until darned near 9:00. For a long time, we were insisting they go to bed at 7, but they'd never GO TO SLEEP. It was always 9 or 10 o'clock before they actually WENT to bed.

But so far it's worked great. Only once did either of them go somewhere they weren't supposed to, and they were just in the alley BEHIND our street. I happened to be in the back garden and heard the bike - it's got quite a distinctive sound to it, especially when Chloe's riding it - and I yelled at her to get out front. That's it. That's the ONLY problem we've had.

I get them in at the end of the night, they get ready for bed... and they ACTUALLY GO TO SLEEP!!!

Don't get me wrong... I don't just leave them out there for hours without even checking on them. I'm out there quite a lot, actually. But if I have something to do, I can go in the house and do it without having anxiety attacks about what they're doing. And I've noticed that the older kids down the street actually keep quite a good eye on them, even though they don't have to. If Chloe or Lexi start going somewhere they're not supposed to, they say something to them. And I think the prospect of one of these kids coming to get me because they're misbehaving is worse than anything these kids could actually say to them.

And they're becoming better friends with 2 of the kids down the street. Lexi's known Neve since she started nursery - they were there together. But as Neve is just slightly older, she's actually a year ahead of Lexi at school. (Lexi started nursery in January of '04, and Neve started Reception [think US 1st Grade] in September '04, but Lexi had to stay at Nursery another year. They base it all on birthday - if your birthday is before September 1st, you start Reception when you're 4. Because Lexi's birthday is at the beginning of October, she had to wait a full year before she could start Reception.) Neve's little sister Holly just turned 3 last weekend, and she and Chloe have become fast friends. Of course, that's not too difficult. Chloe's like me - she'd make friends with a wall if it would talk back to her.

Holly seems to have taken a shine to ME as well. The other day, when the kids were at the beach, Holly came over to visit ME. I found it a little strange, but sweet at the same time. From what I understand, her mother isn't the most affectionate with her (and that's putting it mildly), so I think the fact that I actually PAY ATTENTION to the kid probably has a lot to do with it.

I'm just amazed at what a difference this one little thing has done for these kids' behavior. When they're in the house, they don't misbehave as much as they did even just one week ago. And now that they know that I WILL allow them to play outside, it's easier to get them to do what they need to do in ORDER to go play outside. If I say the living room has to be tidied up before they can go play outside, they clean it so darned fast they're practically a blur!

And it's made a big difference in Syrina as well. SHE wants to go outside. She watches the other kids and actually smiles at them, making great eye contact. You can tell she'd absolutely love to be "in on the action" if she only knew how. But even just BEING out there means a lot to her. It means she's not left out anymore.

Now I'm dreading the cold weather, though. I can just imagine what they're going to act like when it's too cold to go out and play!!!

Thank God Almighty, There's Peace at Last!!!!

Hubby's sleeping in the bedroom, Syrina's blurting two feet away from me... and the rest of them?

THEY'RE GONE!!!!!!!

WooHooo!!!! *doing the happy dance*

Caitlin's out with her "little boyfriend," and the neighbors have taken both Lexi AND Chloe to the beach!

Of course, that means I'm "dog-sitting" for the neighbors, though. But that's no big deal. Sheba - the dog - won't come over here, but I've got the keys and I've been checking on her every hour since they left. I have to go back over there and check on her again as soon as I'm finished here. She's due to have a litter of puppies any time in the next week, so that's why.

But it's soooo nice to have some PEACE and QUIET for once! It'll be over ALL too soon, but STILL!!!!

What a selfish b@st@rd!!!

I just can't believe this man sometimes.

This past week has been our worst week (financially) of the month. We get paid tomorrow, so like a lot of folks, money has been super-tight. Add to that the fact that one of the ATMs in town "ate" £50 of our money, and you can imagine how tight it's been.

So we haven't had much to eat in the house. All he's been eating - aside from dinner - is toast. Me? I haven't eaten a SINGLE THING all week aside from dinner.

So today, my very good friend and neighbor, May, lends us £20. Not much, but enough that the kids could actually have something they WANTED for dinner, I was able to get them some CEREAL for breakfast (all they've had for brekkie all week was toast, too), and we had enough left over for a takeaway.

Well, child #2 of 4 (Caitlin, the 9 year old) was at Brownie's tonight. He knew that, and he also knew that she didn't get anything to eat before she left. A lot of the time she'll end up going to her friend's house afterwards and get something to eat there, but said friend has turned into a little b!tch the past few weeks, and I knew Caitlin wasn't going to spend any more time with her than she absolutely had to.

So she gets home at something like 8:30. Not bad on a Brownie's night, actually. And she's hungry - expectedly. She asks what she can have for dinner. Well, I only got enough frozen pizza (what her sisters had for dinner) for the 2 of them, because usually hubby will just share his pizza with Caitlin when we get a takeaway (me... I've had more pizzas since I've married hubby than I had in my ENTIRE LIFE before him... so I'm kind of pizza-ed out). So she asks him if he can have some of his pizza when it gets here (it hadn't arrived yet, obviously).

This 29-year-old man starts throwing a temper tantrum!!!!

He goes in the kitchen and starts throwing things around, saying things like "fine, you can have the pizza, I'll just f*ck!ng starve!"

I just couldn't believe it. She's a CHILD, for f*ck's sake! He's the GROWN UP... or... well... he's SUPPOSED to be.

What the hell does he think *I* feel like? I literally starve myself so that he and the kids can eat, and do *I* throw temper tantrums? NO!!!

If anything, I get upset when the kids want something and I just don't have the means to give it to them. They sit here and literally cry because they're hungry, and I just don't have anything to give them. But they're kids. They don't understand. (Well... Caitlin does, but Lexi and Chloe sure as hell don't.) He's a grown man. He should be more mature than that.

I just find it really sad - pathetic, really - that sometimes, my 9 year old daughter is more mature than my 29 year old husband.

Chavs and Bullies

For any Americans reading this, let me explain this "Chav" thing.

Nobody really knows where the word comes from. There are several theories out there, which I won't get into right now. Let's just say that the closest American term would be "trailer trash."

It's more a mentality than referring to how much money a person makes or where they live. Think "common." The MOST common of common.

Unfortunately, this country is inundated with these kinds of people. And they're not all young, although most definitions of the word out there would indicate otherwise. I've met 50-year-old Chavs. It's sad, really.

But, unfortunately for me, I live around the corner from a house full of them, and they're pretty much the worst kind of people around.

The mother thinks that the whole world owes her something. I don't know why, and I don't really care. But yesterday it all came to a head.

She's raising her grandson, but she seems to think that he can do no wrong. Last summer, Caitlin (my 9 year old) asked him if she could ride his bike. She ASKED, and he said YES. This woman comes out and screams at Caitlin to get off of it. Now, I could understand - and would agree with her - if she'd just TAKEN it from him. But she didn't. She got his PERMISSION.

Well today, this same little b@st@rd starts bullying Chloe. She JUST turned 4 a week and a half ago. This boy is nearly 7. He starts calling her names and starts throwing her bike into the street and running into it on purpose. So I take Chloe with me and I try to talk to this woman.

I started out very calmly, because I know what I would be like if someone were to come to my door and start jumping down my throat. I simply said, "your grandson has been bullying my little girl." Her, and her daughter (who acts as if her own sh!t doesn't stink), start yelling at ME, and start calling ME names. Well gee... I WONDER where all this bullying is coming from???? They're obviously teaching him that it's okay to bully people just because he feels like it.

I'm not proud of it, but after a few minutes of this abuse - which I would like to go on record as saying I did NOT start - I blew up. I called the daughter exactly what she is - a stupid whore. I've heard lots of things about this little chav from a lot of different people around the neighborhood, and that's exactly what she is. But if they hadn't started all this childish name-calling, I would have kept my opinion to myself. I'm the kind of person that doesn't really care what other people do, as long as it doesn't affect me or my family. But when this little shit started on Chloe, I had had enough.

The thing was, if the woman had just said that she'd take care of the situation, I would have left it at that. I've had other parents come to me about Caitlin, and when it was done in a calm, respectful manner, I was fine with it. I don't want my child to be a little b!tch, and I don't expect that other people should treat them that way, either. But when Caitlin WAS acting like a little b!tch, I took care of it. I told her that it wasn't acceptable, and I made her go over there and apologize. I think the apology was worse for her than my talking to her. She had to go to the people she'd hurt and publicly apologize for CAUSING that hurt.

Am I really that strange, that I think a child should be made to own up to what they've done, even if they ARE only 7 years old? Am I unusual in thinking that discipline should be started when a child is a BABY, not wait until they're a teenager to try and get them to behave?

What the hell is this world coming to? They try to make it AGAINST THE LAW to spank your children, but then they wonder why children are getting into more and more trouble these days? And worse trouble than ever before. Children are turning into bullies and theives and murderers... and the people of this world actually DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY!!!! It's because we - as a society - are teaching our children that they can do whatever they want to do and there won't be any repercussions.

I keep being labeled a "strict" parent. I find that SO funny it's not even... well... funny. I actually LITERALLY laughed out loud the first time somebody called me that. Strict? ME?! If I'm strict, then what would they call my grandmother? Or HER mother? Sheesh. If I'm strict... fine. I'll BE strict. If that's what it takes to get my children to not act like all these other little @$$holes out there... then I'll PROUDLY call myself strict.

I think the world NEEDS more strict parents. Maybe then it wouldn't be going to hell in a handbasket quite so rapidly as it's been.

Our children are going to be the un-doing of our world... and we're going to be stuck sitting there, wondering "Why?"

What IS it with these two???

I just don't get it. I never had this kind of trouble with Caitlin, and having it twice over with Lexi and Chloe is just driving me up a wall.

They don't listen... and it's almost like I'm speaking a totally foreign language to them. I tell them to do something - or NOT to do something - and they just stand there and stare at me like I didn't say anything at all. I threaten, I yell, I sit down and explain... and it honestly seems like the only way to get them to listen to me AT ALL is to spank their asses.

And I don't WANT to have to resort to that. But they leave me with no choice.

People think I'm joking when I call them the terror twins or the demon spawn. They don't seem to realize that these two have got me - literally - at the end of my rope. They reduce me to tears nearly on a daily basis. I have an autistic child, one that keeps getting into trouble outside of the house, and a husband who's been unfaithful... but the one thing that gives me the most trouble are my two youngest children.

The worst part about it is that either one of them on their own are just fine. Damned near perfect angels, in fact. But put the two together - as they usually are - and they get into trouble left and right. Nothing I do makes any difference. I might as well beat my head against a brick wall.

At least if I did that, eventually the wall would crack. Not these two.

There's Only One Guarantee with Children

And that guarantee is....?

That they give you HEART ATTACKS at every turn!!!

It was Lexi's turn this time. My SIL came over this morning and took the 3 youngest to the beach. They've been wanting to go for a long time now, and she'd taken Chloe out for her birthday last week, but the weather was downright shitty.

So she took them out to Mickey D's and to the beach since it was such a nice day today (almost no clouds, warm... not your typical English weather, that's for sure!). They weren't gone very long (darn! ) but they were in a really good mood when they came back.

They'd gone out to the back garden to play for a while, and then Lexi came in and asked me if she could take her jeans off. Off?? I couldn't understand why, until she said that her legs were itchy and the jeans were making them worse.

So she pulls them down a bit to show me, and I saw a couple of welts that looked like she'd been bitten by something. Then, suddenly, the jeans fall all the way down to her ankles, and I see that both legs are entirely covered in red patches and these white welts. I was absolutely shocked.

But she didn't seem all that bothered by it - aside from the itching - so I didn't think TOO much of it.

A little while later, both her and Chloe decide to come back in, and sat down on the couch next to me.

They promptly fell asleep.

They weren't asleep long, and when Lexi woke up, she started scratching her arm. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and turned to look. The rash had spread to her arms!!!!

I ran and got their dad, and had him look. The only words out of his mouth were "take her to the hospital." (Man, it's a good thing we're only a 15 minute walk from the hospital!) So I did.

Come to find out, it was nothing but an allergic reaction. The first thing the nurse said when she looked at Lexi was that that's what it looked like. They gave her an antihistamine right away and sent us to the waiting area to wait for the doctor. It was an absolute madhouse in there, so it took quite a while for her to be seen. But about an hour later, I thought to look at her arms and legs to see how they were doing.

The rash was gone!!!

So I asked her what she touched while she was out with her aunt. Did she touch any plants or flowers? No. Well, what did she touch when she was at the beach? "Big rocks and this prickly thing." Prickly thing? What did it look like? "A crab."

AHA!!!

Turns out it was a crab leg (according to my 9 year old). And a LOT of people have allergies to shellfish, which a crab is.

PHEW!

We waited to see the doctor, because even though the rash was cleared up by the antihistamine, I wasn't sure if the doctor would want her to have some more or not, or if there were any other things I needed to look out for.

I needn't have worried. The doctor said that if she ever had another reaction like that, I could give her any over-the-counter antihistamine, but that she should try to avoid touching whatever it was she did touch ever again, because the reaction could be worse.

I swear, kids should come with a warning label. Warning: this child will give you a head full of grey hair - if you have any left - by the time they're 5 years old.

A Word of Warning

To anyone who reads this:

If you've come here expecting to see a "great" blog... you're going to be sorely disappointed.

This is the first blogger blog that I started, but it's the one I'm worst at keeping updated. My other two, To Syrina With Love and Yarn Krazy, are the ones I keep up with the most, because they mean more to me.

This one is just for me to get things out of my system. I don't have a lot of people to talk to around here (living in a strange country where Americans are hated just for BEING American doesn't help any), so when I need to get something out, I come here.

But please... if you've come here, and you've read something, and it inspires you to comment... feel free.

But don't start any drama. I have enough of that in my real life, I don't need it here. If you're abusive or just plain rude in any way, your comments WILL be deleted.

That being said... welcome. Get comfy, and feel free to read.